A married father of two riding his way through the crazy life of parenthood, trying to balance family, work and training for an upcoming marathon and Half Ironman triathlon. It's a process. It's a gift. It's life. LIVE IT!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Battling Doubt

Seeping in... from nowhere it comes, capturing my mind. Breaking free from this doubt is only moments away, but the pull is strong. The undercurrent of questioning ability, purpose and progress pulls me further from the surface. This transparency is revealing work left to be done.

Breath. Relax. Reload. Breath. Relax. Reload.

One week removed from going the distance these thoughts, these feelings shouldn't be happening. But they are happening.... in the pool. Am I kidding myself to think I'll be able to glide through the water for 1.2 miles? Is that even possible? Maybe I'm not cut out for this? I need to pull myself out of looking so far down the road to longer distance tri's and realize that progress is measured in the day to day improvement, not the grandiose strides between 600 meters and 1.2 miles.

Three steps forward, one back. Why do we always forget the challenges we've faced in the euphoria of success? These are the same feelings I had in the early part of my run training while ramping up for the marathon, however, this time the feeling of inadequacy in the water is one that will take much more focus and attention...and maybe even a little divine intervention.


Blogger DV said...

ups and downs, but stick with it and your rewards will be great...
i'm not far ahead (if at all) of you in the swim - 2 months ago i could swim 500 at a time at most. get in the pool AT LEAST 4 x /week for at least 45 -60 min, and it WILL happen. don't see how far you can go each time, this is different than running where you can run long slowly and it just happens. with this, do small intervals repeatedly - 100 x 5, 50 x 10, gradually increasing distance and trying to increase speed. every couple of weeks swim slowly long, trying to increase your long swim by 250 each time.
you know i'm not a trainer, but this is working for me and i absolutely LOVE to swim train now.
Stick with it, it WILL happen!

11:28 AM

Blogger Bigun said...

I'm not meaning to psyche you out - but I think I know the feeling with swimming - at least you can walk on the run or slow down (or even get off...) on the bike. The swim seems so all or nothing, but it really isn't - don't panic and just keep building - just like biking or running, there will be that day or week when all of a sudden you'll make that big jump, and you'll feel like you can swim forever. Remember settling into that run pace that you knew you could marathon for? In swimming, it's the same thing - at least for me it was....

2:02 PM

Blogger S. Baboo said...

The way I like to make big jumps in my swim is to use hand paddles. The ones I use are by Tyr. Basically I switch to swimming more of the same distance with the paddles then I jump to a bigger distance without the paddles. I made the final jump from 3000m to 4000m that way.

9:13 PM

Blogger LoneStarCrank said...

Thanks to all for the great advice. I'm hopeful persistence will pay off. It's just another blip. Taking the class with such pro's like Jamie Cleveland and Andrea Fisher is already paying big dividends. I just need to be patient and keep at it.

Thanks again.

9:15 AM

Blogger Motownrunner said...

Dude, you ran a marathon! You can so do this. Be strong in your mind. I don't think there's anything harder than doing a marathon. I seriously know you'll be okay. Swimming used to be my thing until I had an eardrum explode while flying. I've had issues with water in the ear since. So, swim for me!! Because I can't. Or because it's not so fun for me anymore.

4:04 PM

Blogger TRI TO BE FUNNY said...

God-- I feel your anxiety!! Just remember, the swim will be the one thing that you do for the LEAST amount of time in your tri. You can do this and Texas Iron will get you there!!

1:02 PM

Blogger Joy | Love | Chaos said...

Swim training is just like preparing for a marathon. It is the collective impact of many small, small 'steps.' Focus on your stroke. Pay attention to catch and recovery, entry and pulling yourself over the water. I bet you never ran 26.2 miles to prepare for your marathon, right?

You will absolutely progress and one day be blown away that a session just doesn't feel like it was worth getting into the water unless it's at least 2000m long. Keep at it!

1:02 PM


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